Editor’s note: This piece came in after the June 6th 50th anniversary of the murder of Robert Kennedy. We struggled with finding a photo of that night that wasn’t under copyright for illustrating it. We had an alternative idea, and then it got lost in the crush of ‘other things’ that took our focus away. We feel it’s a worthwhile piece, as many of us struggle with finding out how we can still be agents of change or become them in a time of turmoil. To our younger readers, this current time is all very familiar. This editor, like Dan, was there in the midst of the chaos of 1968, Dan in L.A. and I was in Chicago. We both see the reflection of that time in this. Hope you enjoy, even though it’s late. It is worth honoring Robert Kennedy with these remembrances. And also worth noting and rarely mentioned is that he was the first person assassinated in this country over the Palestinian issue. Daniel Erlenborn is a former Port Townsend resident currently living Portugal.

June  6, 1968. I was a 16 year old campaign volunteer standing smack in the center of a packed Embassy ballroom of the Ambassador hotel in Los Angeles, exhilarated by our election victory, waiting for Bobby. We had canvassed neighborhoods, registered voters in East L.A., plastered signs everywhere (illegally) and now Bobby was standing at the podium just feet from me thanking us for our hard work and urging us to continue our work—of course we would. We were awestruck and then crushed as his remarks came to an end, too quickly with,” …and on to Chicago” . He disappeared through the curtains behind him. Forever.

I grasped the hand of the girl standing next to me , “let’s go!”  and we pushed through the the people in front of us to climb the stage. I helped her up, the girl in the polka dot dress who I had a crush on but was too shy to ever say. We ducked through the curtains into the pantry hallway that was already filling with fans like us, just wanting to shake his hand, touch his sleeve or gush something goofy.  It was dark and raucous , adrenalin pumping. We pushed ahead of some people, desperately trying to catch up to Bobby, then all hell erupted. Screams, men and women wailing, even louder men shouting strange orders. The human panic seemed like an earthquake. A bus tray full of dishes and silverware fell off a rolling cart and crashed to the floor causing a second panic.  A group of Latinas in front of us turned back , their faces a picture of sheer terror. “Get out” they shouted or maybe it was something in Spanish that conveyed the same alarm. They rushed past us and we followed.

Standing in the ballroom, frozen in disbelief we watched more people rush through the curtains until one young grief stricken woman  came out and screamed “they shot him” or was it “he’s been shot”. I’m fuzzy now. There was no oxygen in the room and it was searing hot with all the television lights and body heat from the crowd . We ran to the doors. When we reached the foyer and caught  our breaths the service doors to the left flew open.  A mass of tangled arms and legs pushed out toward us.. giant men.. I recognized Rosie Greer and Jesse Unruh. Pinned in the  middle of this group of giants a small figure who’s feet didn’t touch the floor, who we’d learn later was Sirhan Sirhan. He looked like a soiled football in the middle of a bloody rugby scrum. The mass moved as one through the lobby like a giant humanoid crab, led by a policeman with weapon drawn. Among them someone kept shouting “don’t let anyone near him”.  I thought it odd at the time until we’d later learn who the him was and what he’d done and  how his survival was somehow essential.

In the intervening years, I’ve always measured every disaster, conflict or unspeakable loss of life against that horrid night….No, that horrid year, Martin had been murdered and our cities burned as riots spread across the nation.  I would pull  a shred of hope each time another crisis occurred from the fact that we had survived  1968…nothing would ever be that disastrous. Until now.

A couple of months after Bobby’s death  a group of us “young activists”,  a dozen or so were invited to meet Marlo Thomas in her Wilshire blvd. office. She offered to back us, if we were game, to promote gun control legislation. We signed on to form a group called the Kennedy Action Corp. It seemed cathartic, we were young and it gave us a new goal.

The issue then over guns focused on small caliber handguns, “Saturday night specials”.  It was what killed RFK .  They were becoming a scourge to inner city and minority neighborhoods.  We thought it was a no brainer. Easy dunk. Who would disagree? 

I vaguely remember a handful of organizational meetings and then SAT exams and life moving on. There was no social media, 24 hour cable news or Twitter fame. And so the gun control movement of 1968 withered and died. Gun control, racial and gender equality, political sanity has ebbed and flowed since. This mirror image year of violence and racial reckoning, with the assassinations of too many innocent blacks it’s imperative to note how little progress we’ve made .

I am, 52 years later, edgily hopeful because of an inspirational movement from this emerging generation. They possess a tenacity and focus we lacked, perhaps because they are  potential victims or maybe because social media makes it more evident, or both. It’s hard to be hopeful in this era and I look for any sign of spring in this dark pandemic winter. 


  1. “A revolution is coming – a revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough – but a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not. We can affect its character; we cannot alter its inevitability.

    ― Robert F. Kennedy

    “War becomes perpetual when used as a rationale for peace,” Norman Solomon.
    “Peace becomes perpetual when used as a rationale for survival.” Yours truly.

  2. When folks say that they feel that it is the worst time that has ever been I always think back to 1968 in the USA and how traumatic that year was for me as a teenager.
    We have so many huge challenges today – that is clear. But we have made some progress on issues ranging from women’s rights to disability rights, to marriage equality. So much to be done and so many energized people stepping up to do it!
    Thanks for taking me back.

  3. I was living in San Miguel d’Allende trying for an MFA when all the political action took place across the border. When we finally got the news, all my ex-pat friends gathered and mourned this game-changing murder. Thanks for sharing your experience, letting me know what it felt like to be at the scene of Bobby’s death. After reading today that Obama is going to take a more active role in the Nov. election, I have some hope for us all. “Yes, we can!”

  4. When I look back on my life (75 years of it) I remember the joy of JFK being president, even though I couldn’t vote yet. Then he was shot, Lee Harvey Oswald was shot in front of television cameras, A shooter in Texas with a rifle killing people, a man murdering nurses, MLK lost to us. But his spirit is still here, when I feel like we are hopelessly lost I think of him and how he persevered amidst all the hatred. I hope things will get better, but we will see. What an amazing time and place in history you were at. Thanks for sharing.

  5. I remember as well the feeling of hopelessness of that year, and I see myself getting caught up in that same feeling this year. Thank you for reminding me of hope.

  6. I share that glimmer of hope, that small ember glowing, daring to feel a beginning of optimism that has been a LONG time coming. I enjoyed this very meaningful essay.
    Lorna Smith

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